Here I Go...

Well I am off to Indiana this Tuesday! Just a trip...not moving...yet...I will be back on Friday just before midnight. I am doing registration for classes, etc. No big deal. Just the business side of Purdue. I am thrilled for what the future holds for me.

Lately everyone has been talking about sunsets. And lately I have had a certain perception of them. The sun seems to be my dream that rises every morning as a reminder and sets with the message that a new life is just beyond the horizon.

This is my chance to start over and discover another true part of myself through the experiences and people I meet. :)

Forgiveness

This past week has been difficult. But if there is one thing that I have learned, it's that anger will get you nowhere in life. If anything, it holds you back from the joys and happiness that can fill the void. Why must our hearts and minds be directed towards injuring others? Why must we have an "eye for an eye"? We are all God's children placed upon this earth at this specific time. Yeah. We make mistakes. We are incredibly stupid at times. We hurt others to protect ourselves from further pain. But we knew in the pre-mortal life that we would be tested. God knew. That's why we came here. But God also knew that every challenge placed before us, we could overcome. Every difficulty we have can be resolved if we have faith in Him. All things are possible through Him. I've come to know this for myself. 

The video below is titled, Jesus is Scourged and Crucified. His last few words touch my heart. He is able to forgive all those who trespassed against Him. 

So what's our excuse that we cannot?

Maybe it's time...

Today I was thinking. I do that occasionally now with all the time on my hands. It was my first official day in Relief Society. (Got the book and everything:) As I was sitting in RS, I realized that I will be 18 this Saturday. And on top of that, I realized that my childish antics have got to stop. I don't have room to be immature all the time.

Does this mean I won't be fun to be around? Of course not! Could I ever get rid of my craziness?! But I have got to stop being the girl who refuses to put her clothes away even though she knows it will only take five minutes. I have to stop being the girl who lets her mom do everything for her as if she is a child.

Long story short. It's time to grow up. No matter how hard and challenging that will be.

Graduation

I graduated. Does it feel real to me? Not yet, but I am getting there. Once college kicks in, I will feel like I actually graduated, but right now only feels like another summer break.

I have had to make choices lately. Anyone who knows me very well knows that I don't like making decisions. I will if I have to, but I don't like to. These choices were even more scary because they will affect the rest of my life. Think about it. I chose Purdue University in INDIANA! That is across the country! I have been excited lately, but it is also very bittersweet. I chose to leave my greatest friends behind. I chose to leave Camille and her sincere, kind, thoughtful advice with a hint of eccentric fun. I chose to leave Abby and her crazy obsession for cows. I chose to leave Sami who is my Once Upon a Time buddy. Who else am I going to talk to about that show? I chose to leave Meghan who has been my soul sister through thick and thin. Believe me. It hasn't always been easy for the two of us, but we resolve problems between us as quickly as possible.

I chose Purdue out of the SIX universities that accepted me and wanted me. Why? I prayed. I fasted. For a long time. It felt right. I felt I had the makings of a Boilermaker (yes my friends make fun of me for that). My choice will affect many decisions later down the road. It will affect new friendships and who I will meet. It will affect where my new home will be and what ward I will be in. It will affect who my eternal companion will be.

Will I be sad and depressed when I cross that state border line knowing that I won't return in a few weeks? Absolutely. Despite Utah and its bipolarity, it has been my home for about nine years. This is where I found friends who will last a lifetime. This is where my mom and I became best friends. This is where I felt I was a part of something. Yeah. Maeser grows on you despite all the sleep and social life it costs you. This is the first place that felt like home. And I am going to miss all of it.

I don't know why Indiana. But I do know it's where God wants me to be right now. So I will go. I will leave behind all I could ever dream of when I was child. I will cry. I will question if I was right. But I will go. Because I know that God has a plan for me and needs me in Indiana right now.

So goodbye to all my friends and family here in Utah. Thank you. You mean more to me than you will ever know and I appreciate each and every one of you with all my heart! I don't know when I will be able to visit, but I will do my best to try to make it down at least once every two years. There is no guarantee though. I love each and every one of you! You will always be a part of my heart! <3

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

Pics of my family and friends:

Me and Grandpa :)

Grandpa, Me, and Mom :)

Camille and I :)

Sami and I :)

Meghan and I :)

Abby and I :)