Long Time No Write

Hey all! It has been such a long time since I last wrote! How do I explain everything that has happened to me over the past few months? I guess in one word:

                         SPECTACULAR!!!

I have loved living in Indiana! Granted there are some disadvantages (missing friends and family, no mountains, loneliness at times), but there are excellent advantages (new friends, a chance for independence, a new life to explore). Some of those disadvantages are taken care of though! I have kept in close contact with some of you and many days that is what keeps me grounded with one foot in Indiana and the other in Utah.

There are so many things that are so different between the two states! For example, people here can actually drive! No offense to those who are great drivers in Utah...

Well it looks like my time is limited today so will try to write tomorrow and so forth!

Love ya all!

Don't stop believing in your dreams!

True Love...

How much do we long for the one true love that will sweep us off of our feet? For a boy... I wouldn't know... For a girl...

everyday

                  of
   
                           our

                                     life...

But why do we desire it? We all have our different reasons. A girl longs for what a girl longs for. We desire what we see around us. We don't want to feel the loneliness that surfaces every time a commercial romance holiday comes to town.

It doesn't help much that movies parade true love around like it is something you come by everyday. Because it's not. No love is true the moment you first lay eyes on someone. It doesn't happen that way in the real world. You can be attracted. But true love comes through a lifetime's effort. Not just a two second montage or glimpse into the soul.

Fairy tales also gave us the dream that our first love will be our only one. But how are you supposed to know a love is true if you won't allow your heart to be broken a few times? I know one thing I will never be good at is getting my heart broken. I would rather sustain the misery of the relationship rather than feeling alone and unworthy of happiness. I am far too sensitive. But I've got to try. Besides, every broken heart means you are closer to the one who truly deserves you.

So don't throw yourself at the first guy who talks to you. The first guy who takes you on a romantic walk on the beach. The first guy who kisses you in the rain. The first guy who looks you in the eye and tells you he loves you. Hold off a bit. Wait a while. You have plenty of time for that in the future.

Great piece of advice from a friend of mine regarding engagement:

Before you think about marriage, know your true love's attitude during all four seasons. This way there is no surprises when united forever and always. <3

Here I Go...

Well I am off to Indiana this Tuesday! Just a trip...not moving...yet...I will be back on Friday just before midnight. I am doing registration for classes, etc. No big deal. Just the business side of Purdue. I am thrilled for what the future holds for me.

Lately everyone has been talking about sunsets. And lately I have had a certain perception of them. The sun seems to be my dream that rises every morning as a reminder and sets with the message that a new life is just beyond the horizon.

This is my chance to start over and discover another true part of myself through the experiences and people I meet. :)

Forgiveness

This past week has been difficult. But if there is one thing that I have learned, it's that anger will get you nowhere in life. If anything, it holds you back from the joys and happiness that can fill the void. Why must our hearts and minds be directed towards injuring others? Why must we have an "eye for an eye"? We are all God's children placed upon this earth at this specific time. Yeah. We make mistakes. We are incredibly stupid at times. We hurt others to protect ourselves from further pain. But we knew in the pre-mortal life that we would be tested. God knew. That's why we came here. But God also knew that every challenge placed before us, we could overcome. Every difficulty we have can be resolved if we have faith in Him. All things are possible through Him. I've come to know this for myself. 

The video below is titled, Jesus is Scourged and Crucified. His last few words touch my heart. He is able to forgive all those who trespassed against Him. 

So what's our excuse that we cannot?

Maybe it's time...

Today I was thinking. I do that occasionally now with all the time on my hands. It was my first official day in Relief Society. (Got the book and everything:) As I was sitting in RS, I realized that I will be 18 this Saturday. And on top of that, I realized that my childish antics have got to stop. I don't have room to be immature all the time.

Does this mean I won't be fun to be around? Of course not! Could I ever get rid of my craziness?! But I have got to stop being the girl who refuses to put her clothes away even though she knows it will only take five minutes. I have to stop being the girl who lets her mom do everything for her as if she is a child.

Long story short. It's time to grow up. No matter how hard and challenging that will be.

Graduation

I graduated. Does it feel real to me? Not yet, but I am getting there. Once college kicks in, I will feel like I actually graduated, but right now only feels like another summer break.

I have had to make choices lately. Anyone who knows me very well knows that I don't like making decisions. I will if I have to, but I don't like to. These choices were even more scary because they will affect the rest of my life. Think about it. I chose Purdue University in INDIANA! That is across the country! I have been excited lately, but it is also very bittersweet. I chose to leave my greatest friends behind. I chose to leave Camille and her sincere, kind, thoughtful advice with a hint of eccentric fun. I chose to leave Abby and her crazy obsession for cows. I chose to leave Sami who is my Once Upon a Time buddy. Who else am I going to talk to about that show? I chose to leave Meghan who has been my soul sister through thick and thin. Believe me. It hasn't always been easy for the two of us, but we resolve problems between us as quickly as possible.

I chose Purdue out of the SIX universities that accepted me and wanted me. Why? I prayed. I fasted. For a long time. It felt right. I felt I had the makings of a Boilermaker (yes my friends make fun of me for that). My choice will affect many decisions later down the road. It will affect new friendships and who I will meet. It will affect where my new home will be and what ward I will be in. It will affect who my eternal companion will be.

Will I be sad and depressed when I cross that state border line knowing that I won't return in a few weeks? Absolutely. Despite Utah and its bipolarity, it has been my home for about nine years. This is where I found friends who will last a lifetime. This is where my mom and I became best friends. This is where I felt I was a part of something. Yeah. Maeser grows on you despite all the sleep and social life it costs you. This is the first place that felt like home. And I am going to miss all of it.

I don't know why Indiana. But I do know it's where God wants me to be right now. So I will go. I will leave behind all I could ever dream of when I was child. I will cry. I will question if I was right. But I will go. Because I know that God has a plan for me and needs me in Indiana right now.

So goodbye to all my friends and family here in Utah. Thank you. You mean more to me than you will ever know and I appreciate each and every one of you with all my heart! I don't know when I will be able to visit, but I will do my best to try to make it down at least once every two years. There is no guarantee though. I love each and every one of you! You will always be a part of my heart! <3

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

Pics of my family and friends:

Me and Grandpa :)

Grandpa, Me, and Mom :)

Camille and I :)

Sami and I :)

Meghan and I :)

Abby and I :)

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Mom,

I love you for all the times you picked me up when I was down. For all the times you traded your warm smile for my frown. For all the times you brushed my hair and tucked me into bed... Or needed something for yourself and put me first instead. For all the dreams that we have shared, the tears and laughter too. I love you mom with all my heart... There's no one quite like you!

My mom is my best friend and always will be. Maybe she doesn't always give me what I want, but she does give me what I need... LOVE <3